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Three Jewish Jokes


Rosh HaShannah morning, the synagog is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.

The doors burst open, and a rolling black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst. People jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming - all except for two.

One is the Rabbi, the other is an elderly farmer.

Satan is a bit perplexed.

He points to the Rabbi and says, "You! I can understand why you didn't run away, you are in G-d's house, you preach against me everyday and you aren't afraid of me. But YOU (points to the farmer), why didn't you run out scared like everyone else?"

The farmer crosses one leg over the other and drawls,

"Why, I'm surprised you don't recognize me...I've been married to your sister for 36 years!"


Another Jewish President Joke The first Jew ever was elected president.

He calls his mother, and tells her that he was elected president of the United States.

Her reply was "so".

He tells her that she will have to attend his inauguration.

She tells him "I don't have a thing to wear".

"Don't worry I'll get you a dress."

"How will I get there?"

"I will send a limousine for you."

At the inauguration, she was sitting amongst all the dignitaries, as he is being sworn in.

She tells everyone around her, in a loud voice.

"See that fellow up there being sworn in. His brother is a Doctor."


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked,

"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

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