Eulogy
On behalf of the family I want to thank you all for coming here today to remember Nuala.

We also remember our father Seamus, who died four years ago today and so it is fitting that we pray for both of them today.

A few hours after Nuala died last Tuesday her cousin, Paul, rang me. A phrase he used stayed in my mind. “Her whole life is over” he said. I began to think about that, her whole life and I realised that nobody can ever know the whole life of another. So today I just want to share some fragments of her life, knowing that many of you will recall many other fragments which I will never know.

Nuala was born in Glasgow in 1929, the eldest child of Thomas and Nora Kelly. When, three years later, they decided to return to Dublin, Nuala was sent to Co. Mayo to live with an aunt and uncle for a year. There she started school at the age of three and was well able for it.

When her parents settled, she returned to them and grew up on the Clontarf Road. When her brother, Tommy, arrived four years later, Nuala’s job was to take him for a long walk in his pram every day so that Nora could get the tricky parts of her dressmaking done, as she made clothes for people all over Clontarf.

Nuala excelled In Belgrove National School. One day she challenged the teacher on a maths problem and the teacher said angrily. “if you think Nuala Kelly that you can do this better than me, then get to the blackboard and do it” She did! She studied for the scholarship exam and when in sixth class she used to listen anxiously for the sound of the heavy wooden chair in Miss Cannon’s office as that sound would usually be followed by Miss Cannon arriving at the door calling Nuala into her office to correct some aspect of her homework.

She won her scholarship and travelled ever day on the tram to St Louis School, Rathmines, with her lifelong friend, Ann Arkins. There she was involved in drama, playing Portia in “The Merchant of Venice” and performing at the Abbey with Maureen Toal in ‘ Eoinín na néan”. So she really was an Abbey actress!

During fifth year she took the Clerical Officer exams in the civil service and was offered a job. Sadly she abandoned her education at that point to take the job and support her family.

She met Seamus in the Civil Servce Commission, where she worked for 6-7 years. He had made similar choices around his family so it is not surpriisng that they met and married. They moved into Brookwood Avenue in 1954.

I believe the saddest event in her life took place in 1955 when Nora died suddenly, one month after I was born. Tommy still remembers the tears and the terrible grief she suffered. Tommy and his Dad came to live with us, so here was Nuala at 25, banned from work, looking after three men and a small baby.

.....and then she had five more!

It was a happy home and a very stable home. You could count on pork chops on Thursday, fish on Friday and roast chicken on Sunday and, because Dad was a plain eater, a really big spread whenever cousins Jimmy Kearney or Paul O’Dwyer came to visit. We had holidays in Skerries and Gortnamona and many many picnics at the King’s river or `Mellifont Abbey.

She was very proud of us and always believed we were capable. When Patricia was undecided about going to Hungary to study music for a year she said “ And what is the worst that could happen? .... and could you cope with that? ... Well then just go!”

She tried to teach me to be elegant but never succeeded. She had more success with Tricia, though she never shared Tricia’s love of linen and, every time she appeared with a new linen outfit, Mam would tell her that she just wanted to take it off her and run the iron on it.

She was especially caring when you were sick. When you were sick you got Lucozade and when you were beginning to get better you got tomato soup. To this day Mary drinks Lucozade for comfort and I drink tomato soup.

Nuala had nine grandchildren, their arrivals spanning 24 years and she loved to see them visit. There was a blue box in the kitchen with penguin bars and kit kats and certain people have been know to make a bee line for that box when they came in.

Nuala did not live to see a great grandchild but she did live long enough to be very happy that one was on the way.

Both Nuala and Seamus loved when we all gathered. On several occasions she said that the greatest gift she had given us was each other. Never has the wisdom of that been so clear to me as during the last two weeks. Never did I see her face light up so much as the time Peter came home from the USA as a surprise for her 40th anniversary.

But raising six chldren was hard and a bit confining for a woman of her intelligence and creativity. Indeed in the 60’s she was quite outspoken, not in Dad’s presence perhaps, about the limited role of women in society and the role of the church in all of that. She was a critical thinker and ahead of her time.

In her 40’s she found new wings. She began flower arranging. Beginning by poring over books by Julia Clements and a Japanese book on Ikabana, then competing and always winning at Artane, Clontarf and Sutton Horticultural Shows. She then made friends with others who were interested. She founded the North Dublin Flower Club in 1969 and then AOIFA, the national organisation in 1973.

She loved the natural world and took her inspiration from mountains, often going there to gather heather, lichen or fir cones. Once Fran spent several hours digging a piece of driftwood out of a bog as Nuala had a idea about building a flower arrangement around it.

She was the first International demonstrator in Ireland and she was also an international teacher and judge. She travelled all over the UK. She won prizes in the World Shows in Glasgow and Toronto and judged the World Show in New Zealand. She was never happier than when demonstrating, when she would follow through on her carefully laid plans but also spontaneously divert into great stories.

In the 90s I began running workshops for Primary school teachers and at the lunchbreak of one of those workshops a teacher said across the table ‘”Thérèse. You are very good at what you do” to which the teacher on my right replied “No, She is nothing. She is nothing compared to her mother. You should just hear her teach.” and went on to give details of several demonstrations she had attended.

I believe that more important than her international travels were her travels around the country, brnging her skills and inspiration to the big towns and the small towns of Ireland. Séamus almost always did the driving. If he could not, Carmel took up the slack. When he could, Carmel was assigned houskeeping duties at home.

She organised many exhibitions, Castletown House, St Patrick's Maynooth and Dromantine with her great friend, the Reverend Mac. Nowadays we would call this social art or community art as the process of gathering people was as important as the finshed product. She was always the artistic director.

When Carmel was getting married her advice was that, along with being together, she and Brian should both have some hobby or interest just for themselves, something that was separate from the other. I believe she had discovered this in her 40’s - a creative outlet that also gave her some financial independence. She modelled it for others as she wanted other women to find that creativity and independence.

Part of these flower festvals involved Catholic women decorating Protestant churches and Protestant women decorating Catholic churches, and not without criticism, at a time when such collaboration on this island was unimaginable to many. This commitment to crossing boundaries has left us with a rich legacy.

These festivals also made a lot of money and all of this money went to charity.

The flowers in the church today have been arranged by her friends from the North Dublin Flower Club and are a beautiful tribute to her and we are very grateful.

At the age of 67 she founded “Solas Nua” for contemporary design in flower arranging. She was still dreaming new things.

Over these last few years she has been less involved. However she still gave me advice on my weekly flower arrangements, even if I never got much further than the triangle.

Old age takes its toll and so it was with Nuala. 2006 was a bad year with Eamonn’s death and a few other hard things and it took it out of her.

There were a few years when Nuala and Séamus made a good team: Séamus, while forgetful, was still physically able and Nuala, while more physically disabled was still able to plan and organise everything. She cared for Séamus for much longer than I was comfortable with, but, as always, she made her own decisions.

It was also her own decision to move into St. Gabriel's and, because of that, she settled in well. As her health deteriorated it became more difficult for her. We are indebted to the nurses and carers who looked after her at home, in St. Gabriel's and in Beaumont last week, as they all cared for her with such love and professionalism. We are also indebted to John Ball, her GP, who made some inspired decisions over the years.

In her own way she told us she was ready to go and we gave her permission. She died very quickly after a good night’s sleep and a week of visits from her family.

So while we can never know a “ whole life” there is in the transition a moment when you glimpse it. And in that moment I saw a strong woman, a leader, determined and creative. Her love was never sentimental and always enduring. She will be sadly missed.

Thérèse


Prayers of the Faithful

1. We pray in gratitude for the life of Nuala; for her love of Séamus – her late husband – and for her love of her six children and nine grandchildren. For her openness, her honesty, her strength, her understanding and her many and varied talents. May she rest in peace. [Susan]

2. We remember and pray for our Dad, Séamus, on this, the fourth anniversary of his death. Our memories of his kindness, gentleness and humility remain strong to this day and sustain us in our own journeys through life. [Mary]

3. We pray for the wonderful staff of St. Gabriel’s Nursing Home - for the nurses and carers from all over the world who looked after Nuala for the past 3 ½ years. We pray also for the staff at Beaumont Hospital and for Nuala’s own GP, Dr. John Ball. May their work be truly blessed. [Margaret]

4. We pray for all our deceased relatives and friends. We remember especially Nuala's Son-in-Law Eamonn Gibson, her life long friend Ann Arkins and her parents Tom and Nora Kelly. {Eoin]

5. We give thanks for Nuala’s celebration of beauty in nature, which brought her great joy and fulfilment, as did the many close friendships she treasured with other flower arrangers at home and abroad. [Lucy]

6. We pray for all family, neighbours and friends who have come to share in this celebration of Nuala’s life with us. May you all be blessed for your kind care, concern and support. [Anne]

Reading from St. Paul's letter to the Corinthians
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable;

Love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal.

There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass.

For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.

When I was a child, my speech, feelings and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways.

What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete as God's knowledge of me.

Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is love.