The following is claimed to be a genuine flow of correspondence involving an unnamed rail company and a disgruntled customer.
I have been riding trains daily for the last two years and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day.
I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14 mile trip.
I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history.
The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
I am in receipt of your letter and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history.
If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years.