A conservative married Englishman was having an affair with a passionate Italian woman over a number of years.
One night, she told him she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy and secretly have the child there.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discreet, he told her to send him a post card, and simply write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Dear, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.
She gave him the card and watched as he read it, promptly turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.
(with thanks to Seán Ó hÉigeartaigh.)